The Control of Fear

     She spent many years being afraid to tell that her bible teaching husband was a mean emotional abuser.  She never told anyone that the children ran to their rooms when they heard their fathers key in the door each evening because they feared what mood he'd be in.  She wanted to walk away but feared she couldn't take care of the children alone and afraid the sky would fall on her because the Lord hates putting away. She was afraid that she'd spent so much time living in fear and emotional turmoil at the mouth of her husband that her aged smile, wrinkled eyes, and saggy flesh would be the cause of no other man ever wanting her to wife.  

     Finally after 21 years of living in fear, she mustered up enough strength and courage to remove herself and her children from the grips of the mean man and what happened? She was labeled a whore, a sinful women, a liar, and an unruly female.  The men feared her because "he" said she was an adultery.  The women feared her because they thought she wanted their husbands.  They all feared her because her silenced spirit made her look as if she were a rebellious and stubborn woman and rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft while  stubbornness is as idolatry.  She feared these same people  who feared her because she was afraid of how mean and unjust she learned they could be.  They didn't care to realize that a women with a lot of children doesn't leave a good man.   Now she was afraid that she'd be alone for the rest of her life.

     In each moment she lived without the fellowship of friends,  she thought about living this life of fear, she realized she was not afraid of death  at all, life seemed  to be a whole lot more painful than rest.  She was not wired to be alone.